Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
