I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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