oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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