The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
