hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
