She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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