WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
