I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
