I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize