3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
