i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
