Dual....:-)
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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