I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
