You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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