yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
