areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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