Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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