Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
