So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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