At least make sure they are 18
Why
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
