theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
