It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
