rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
