I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
