Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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