I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
