Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
