Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
