Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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