I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
