Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
