I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you would pick up someone in the library
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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