And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
