Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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