I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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