Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
