some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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