"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize