There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
