Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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