Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
