sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Never joke about your clitoris.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
