I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
