So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
