im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
