guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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