Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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