you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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