What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
