Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
