i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
