Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
