I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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