I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
