lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
