Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
