Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
