why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
