He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
