why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This can only be settled by a dance off.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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