I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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